Why I Left Facebook - Almost

I can't remember when I decided to create a Facebook account, but I recall thinking the site would offer a great opportunity to connect with family and friends, and possibly be used as a tool for finding friends I had lost touch with. It would be nice to see photos of the offspring of relatives who lived too far to visit; fun to share a joke or funny picture with a sister across 3,000 miles of geography; and easy it to wish individuals and couples happy birthday or happy anniversary and accompany it with a card or graphic. This was the platform I could engage in regularly.

I might not remember when I decided to create a Facebook account, but I remember when I almost deleted that account, almost erased my presence from this single corner of the web universe, and almost relegated myself to shrinking back into dependence on telephone, mail, and personal visits.

It began with religion.

I am a student of Buddhism. I believe in care and kindness toward my fellow human beings. Despite the lofty goals of Buddhism, I would never suggest that anyone become a Buddhist. In return, I do not want anyone to tell me their religion is best or someone else’s religion is wrong. But then, references to my need to abide by some organized religion or religious group's beliefs began to show up in posts by friends and relatives.

It continued with politics.

My political views begin with research. As a voter and advocate, I study candidates and issues on all sides, trying to get a perspective that matches my personal beliefs, with a keen eye on the impact of any issue on people, the environment, and the future. Once I've analyzed as much as I can, based on news from various sources, I'm set. (Notice I said "news," not opinion.)

My views have always been based on research and study and not along party lines or recommendations from folks who have yet to delve deeply into issues on their own. And definitely not from people who circulate memes that have not been fact checked.

Eventually it became angry.

I never expected my presence on Facebook would become controversial; however, I also never expected to be confronted with so much misinformation, anger and vile hate. But there it was, smacking me in the face almost daily as I scanned the posts of my small group of friends and family.

I read the politically focused memes, posts, links and shared messages with my skepticism. Because some of these messages seemed so outrageous, I looked a bit further, checking Snopes and Urban Legends, clicking on links to uncover origins, looking for truth and honesty. When I found something false or at best, dubious, I did not fail to comment. In effect, I was policing my friends and family, which left a bad taste in my mouth -- and likely exasperated some.

But I did not like having others trying to influence me with their opinions -- opinions, not fact.

It took a while, but I eventually realized nothing I could do would stop the spread of tainted posts, so I began ignoring them or, in extreme cases, blocking them.

Still, I lingered, spending most of my time lurking while commenting on positive posts, and all was borderline fine until one post sent me over the edge. Someone I genuinely care about used the word "exterminate" in relation to the women of congress who appeared at the State of the Union address for the President of the United States.

These were the women elected by the voters, not by Facebook memes. Whether I favored or backed them did not matter. The majorities had spoken; the women were elected; and they expressed their solidarity by wearing white on this particular day.

Yes, I understood that if you were on the opposite side of the results of an election, this could upset you; but angering you to the point of espousing "extermination" was going way too far. To me, it ranked at the top, just above Photoshopped images of Barack Obama hanging from a tree or a similar manipulation showing Donald Trump blowing his brains out.

The statement reminded me of the women's suffragettes who endured torture, starvation and force feeding in a quest for the right to vote.

I was crushed, totally. This is not what I expected from my membership in Facebook. And because I realized I could not stop the publication of material that offended me, I removed the app’s Messenger from my phone and stopped signing in to my account, fully intending to delete it totally.

I did not.

Instead, I waited until I could look at the situation with a cooler head because besides giving me access to family and friends, Facebook also opened the doors to other websites, apps, games, my favorite entertainers, news, occasional bargains, new gadgets and -- I did miss "seeing" my friends. (I hope they missed me a little, too.)

I had also signed on to monitor pages from others, which meant I really should be able to log into Facebook.

 ... give people the power to build community and bring the world closer together.

 Finally, when I clicked a link to view a breaking news story, I was shuffled over to the news station's Facebook page and I realized the giant social media company was too big to be ignored.

I decided to give it another try. However, this time around, my participation will not invite or accept certain types of posts or requests and I will not do policing ....

From this point forward ...

I will unfriend and/or block anyone who ...

1. Tries to convince me I need the words "under God" in a pledge to the American flag (It wasn’t there when I was in elementary school), or that I must say Merry Christmas as opposed to Happy Holidays.

2. Posts dangerous messages of hate, racism, or homophobia.

3. Reposts memes and/or links I know to be based on disinformation.

4. Insists their religion is the only true religion.

5. Challenges me to repost an inappropriate meme (see #1).

6. Posts too many "chain" posts.

7. Believes Bill Gates will donate a kidney (or at least a dollar) for every repost, which I know gives some company a tidy list of people on my friend list for marketing (or spam) purposes.

There are more, but a list of seven covers the most important bases for now. If the list offends you, so be it

I guess what I'm trying to say can be summed up via Facebook's full mission statement: "... give people the power to build community and bring the world closer together."